How To Stay Motivated When You’re Just Not Feeling It

Listen to the full podcast episode to learn about the science-backed practice that has not only changed my life but also the lives of countless people over the last two decades. This is something you can’t ignore if you want to achieve that great goal you identified for this year and write your new future.

“How do we stay motivated in those moments when we just don’t feel like it?”

As entrepreneurs, leaders of teams, managers, bosses, and parents we all have times when we lose our motivation or lose track of the reason that we’re doing what we’re doing.  Moments when we’re ‘just not feeling it.’ And it’s real! We’re not always going to be in our peak zone. 

Today, I’m giving you a few simple shifts and practical steps so that you can return to your flow — especially in the moments when the pace is fast and the progress is slow. 

Those moments can be little blips or they can be extensive ones that last a week, a month or more!

• The first of the shifts to return us to center is to allow ourselves to be imperfect. We have to allow ourselves to have those moments where we’re not feeling the feeling. And to be kind to ourselves when they happen. 

What would it look like to accept that your best today isn’t the same as your best on another day? To accept that we aren’t always at the same high level every day? 

One of the challenges we create for ourselves is that we have a resistance to imperfection. This costs us as we get lost in comparison and self attack. High performers tend to be particularly susceptible because they have created such high expectations on themselves. 

As we know, imperfection is an addiction to dissatisfaction because imperfection is impossible.

So on a day where you’re not feeling motivated and the road ahead looks long—embrace the messiness of it! Instead of suffering by fighting with reality, lean into the mess. As a young child my family and I loved to visit the ocean frequently.  It was then when I was taught that if I was ever caught in a current, to not resist but instead to go in the direction of the waves. We suffer when we fight reality in the same way when we go against an ocean’s current. 

• Don’t underestimate those small actions that compound. 

When I first started having kids, I spent time resisting and fighting life. I suffered because I was fighting the reality that there were going to be interruptions in my day. Often it would leave me feeling irritable and angry and resentful at myself and others because I wasn’t able to get into the flow. Of course, I didn’t realize it was my expectations that were costing me. My belief that it should be some other way.  

When I began to accept it and work with it as opposed to spending the rest of my life fighting what was real, I was not only happier but more productive too. I started to embrace the law of The Slight Edge, which is that small things done consistently lead to significant results.   

It’s easy to see people who climb mountains and think that they achieved that goal in a week. But those who have climbed mountains have failed many times! They’ve taken a lot of steps over and over again and trained to get to that point.

It’s very easy, especially in this world of social media, for us to make up stories about other people. And especially easy when they are telling a story.

Remember: there is nobody like you! There is nobody that has your exact story. And to compare yourself is simply to be addicted to dissatisfaction and ensures you’ll stay out of your flow even longer.

Celebrate yourself in the moment! Acknowledge yourself—even in the imperfection. 

And don’t underestimate the fact that even though you can’t do everything, that you can’t do something.

One of the best practical steps is to say, “What’s the smallest thing I can do right now?” What can I do that will plant a seed or leverage something for myself today—in the smallest way? 

Some examples:

• Pulling a file.
• Locating a paper. 
• Opening a book.

It doesn’t matter what it is! It’s about tuning in, slowing down, listening, and identifying that small action that you can take.

We know that 20% of what we do—the vital few things we do—lead to 80% of our results. 

When we’re aware of these few things we do, we recognize that we’re always—even though the lists seem long and the progress seems slow—able to take just the next step.

• Train yourself to hold space for life’s curveballs. 

And by hold space, I mean leave more blank space. When we don’t do that, we set ourselves up to never expect that life is messy. 

By saving space for life’s messy moments, we stop allowing ourselves to constantly be set up for failure.  Instead we can ask ourselves…

• How can we set ourselves up to succeed? 
• Where do we need support? 
• Where do we leave room to get support?

This leads me to another point… 

• Consume support and use personal development to upgrade your life. 

Use these moments as a reminder—an opportunity—to seek out and receive support. Whether it’s paid or not! An expert or a trusted friend. Find those people and call on them.

I recently had a moment where I was getting hijacked by something. Some feelings were coming up about a big change and I thought to myself, “Okay, I need some support to process this and to get myself out of it.” 

I have a team of trusted advisors that I use in different capacities at different times. I always have my team to go back to to help me process things as they come up.

Who are your trusted advisors? Take a minute to locate them in your mind and maybe jot their names down on a piece of paper.

They can be:

• a friend that supports you or holds you accountable 
• a therapist
• a coach
• a community of people (maybe a Facebook group)

But whoever that is for you—you have them! You don’t have to do it alone. We cannot do it alone. 

• Validate feelings vs avoiding them.

I can’t underscore enough the importance of us validating our feelings as opposed to “shoulding” on ourselves. You know—saying we “shouldn’t be feeling unmotivated today.” That’s the worst thing to do!

Your feelings are messengers. They’re there to tell you something. They’re there to guide you in a new direction.

So instead of telling yourself all the reasons this is inefficient and wrong and what else you should be doing—embrace the feeling and write it down. Maybe even journal about how you’re feeling. And be kind to yourself because there’s a part of you that’s feeling those feelings. 

This allows you to metabolize and process the feelings, as opposed to having them hijack you again tomorrow. 

• We have to remember that our target is our purpose. 

Too often, we get consumed with our lists and what we ought to get done. Understand that your list will never get done. If it’s done, you’re dead. 

Shift your perception, your mindset, your definition of a “To Do” list and embrace that it gives you opportunity, possibility, and meaning. It’s all in how you define what that means.

• If there’s still a “To Do” list, are you saying that you’re not enough? 
• If there’s more to do or you haven’t responded, does that mean you’re inadequate? 

Be specific with and notice the stories that you tell yourself.

• Protect your peace.

Probably one of the most important things that my clients do is that they are very protective of their state. They protect their peace, knowing that when they’re in the highest frequency of peace, they always perform at the highest level!

When you operate from the thought and belief that when you do what’s best for yourself, it’s always best for another. It’s not selfish.  It’s self-care.

Another question I ask myself and others regularly is, “If nothing were to change in my circumstances, what would I need to be at peace in this moment?”

Protecting our peace is how we maintain as successful entrepreneurs, masterful teachers, and positively impactful leaders. It’s actually our #1 job daily. 

Can you see how having these seven tools in your back pocket can prevent you from being completely hijacked when work or life gets complicated or messy?  

Remember it’s completely normal to have days when we feel off.  The important thing is to be kind to yourself and not give our struggles meanings they don’t have. Our messy days are not personal.  They are not a reflection of our worth.  They are simply life.  

Remind yourself that you are more ok than you think right now.  

Be generous.

And when you REALLY aren’t feeling it, one of the best things you can do is to perform a random act of kindness. 

Think of one way you can immediately make someone else’s life better. It helps us to get out of our own head and remind ourselves that we matter.  

Make sure that you stay in the game and finish what you started. 

There is only one YOU! There’s a reason you’re doing what you’re doing. Make your purpose your target—and don’t stop. 

We all have moments where we need to rest. And rest when you must, but don’t you quit. 

Give yourself permission to move with the flow and to embrace some of these practices. 

Much like a small change in a golfer’s hand on a putter can change the trajectory of the ball significantly, a few small habit changes in life’s messy moments, make a big difference as well.

Ask yourself…

What’s the smallest thing that I can do today to make a difference or make some progress or impact?

And then start making those small improvements right away to put some doable, positive habits in place that will upgrade your business and life!

The world desperately needs what you have to give.  

In these moments, continue to find joy, inspiration, self-improvement, and self-awareness. 

When you do, your business, community, and family all benefit! Thank you for being a part of this community.  Thank you for being you and being a bright light and leader in this world!

In this episode, I share:

• Seven tools to remain steady (and return to flight) when we’re just not feeling up to what work and life need from us today
• The mindset management high achievers use to maintain their motivation.
• The most important question to ask in order to meet your daily #1 goal of protecting your peace   

Resources and related episodes:

• Tune in to the previous episode, What Working Hard May Tell You About Your Self-Worth
• Listen to episode 123: Your Mindset Management Practice For Higher Performance
• If you’d like to be notified of when new podcast episodes are released, you can do so here: Playing Full Out
• Learn more about the Inside Out Method
• Connect with Rita on LinkedIn

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts for more tips, tools, and inspiration to lead the optimal vision of your life, love, and leadership. Remember, a half version of you is not enough. The world needs the fullest version of you at play.

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About Rita Hyland

With over 20 years of experience as an executive and leadership coach, Rita helps leaders — emerging and established — excel in corporate and entrepreneurial environments.

Rita believes if leaders were more clear about how transformation really works and more intentional about creating what they want, their impact, success, and influence in the world would be unstoppable.

Through her coaching programs, private coaching, and masterminds, Rita shows leaders how to win consistently and create the impact and legacy they desire.

Central to Rita’s work is the understanding that you will never outperform your current programming, no matter how strong your willpower.

When you learn to use Rita’s proprietary Neuroleadership Growth Code, a technology that uses the best of neuroscience and transformational psychology to hit the brain’s buttons for change, YOU become both the solution and the strategy.

Her mission is to end talented, hard-working, and self-aware leaders spending another day stuck in self-doubt or confusion and not contributing their brilliant work and talent the world so desperately needs.