The ‘Irresistably Attractive’ Factor- Do you have it?

Several years ago I learned that everything I thought about being successful and happy was a lie.

I’d spent many of my early years consciously and sometimes unconsciously trying to keep it neat, fix it, organize it, keep it moving, make it look good.

I recognize in hindsight it was to get people to like me.   Once I had ‘manipulated’ them into liking me, I then realized the game wasn’t over.  Now I had to maintain their acceptance and approval. 

I wasn’t as calculated as it might sound.  I didn’t consciously realize I was doing this. Like most of us, I’d picked this way of being up from those around me.  I didn’t challenge it.  It must ‘work,’ I thought.  After all, everybody’s doing it.

After years of this act, I became exhausted from the level of energy it took to keep it up, and I finally gave it up.

I started showing up at a higher level and exposing wherever I was, how I was feeling, and where I was at honestly. I said what I really planned to do with my life.  I was myself.

And I found a funny thing started happening…

While I’d thought  people would stop liking me when I wasn’t trying so hard, instead I found people actually liked me more.  I started connecting to people in ways I had never experienced in my relationships and in business.  And my life –in both areas– took off.

It turns out it’s not only more fulfilling to be unattached to whether or not people like you.  It’s also irresistibly attractive.

Here’s the deal: We all want to be our true selves and connect with others in a meaningful, honest and open way.  Connection and contribution to others are our two highest  needs.

To get these needs met we must be honest with ourselves and others —  not just some of the time, but all of the time.  The good news is we become fulfilled  and irresistibly attractive when we do.

In fact, our business and relationship success relies on our being able to expose ourselves as we are–our preferences, our likes, our dislikes.

Take a look at the following video to see what one researcher found on the topic of vulnerability, success, and happiness, and how to become a magnet of rich relationships, success, and fulfillment.  You’ll be happy you did.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

As always, leave a comment if it moves you and please share it with your friends.

Enjoy!

Lots of love,

Rita